To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
