man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
