i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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