Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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