Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
