Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
