Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
