Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
