even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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