whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All the doctor said was why
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
