the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
