Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
