Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
