I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
