i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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