wanna go halves on a baby?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
