the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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