Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry cshellsbythec hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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(206): View more from Washington

I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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(706): View more from Georgia

She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

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(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

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(720): View more from Colorado

I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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(407): View more from Florida

I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.

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(646): View more from New York

lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.

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