dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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