I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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