she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
