The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
