Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So vagazzling was a success
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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