shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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