hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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