yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
