If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
