Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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