i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
