arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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