dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
