i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
