my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize