How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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