hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
