So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
