butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
