That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
