Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
