She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
