um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
