She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
