omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
