wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
