my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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