Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
