she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
