Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
