This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You can't motorboat a personality
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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