I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
