Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And then he peed in my hair
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