I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
