hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
